I don't mind if chivalry is dead...

...as long as common curtesy has replaced it.

Recently I've read several articles online that give men simple ways to bring back chivalry. They include all of the common cliches of holding the door, pulling out a woman's chair, giving up their seat on public transportation, and complimenting women up and down. And my favorite part is always when, in an effort to not appear sexist, the author says "men (and women)." It's new to me that we need parentheses around the female gender, almost as if women are an afterthought.

I don't expect men to hold the door for me or pull out my chair for me at dinner. Would I appreciate it? Of course, who wouldn't? But my appreciation isn't dependent on the gender of the person, it comes from the fact that kind gestures are rapidly fleeing from our fast paced, multi tasking, American society. I do not think that the number of X chromosomes a person has should dictate the level of politeness they need to express. I think our focus needs to shift away from chivalry and knights in shining armor and toward a universal expression of compassion and simple thoughtfulness. The term "chivalry" puts an unnecessary amount of pressure on males to uphold the hierarchy put in place not by Creation but by the Fall.

If I am called to be on equal footing with a male then he should not need to walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street or drop me off first when there isn't any close parking or it's raining. If I decide to wear heels in the rain and snow then it's my own fault. I've also recently read countless anti-feminist rants that say "well if men and women were equal we'd have co-ed bathrooms" or "well if men and women were equal then men should be able to hit women back." I am not a feminist, I am a human and a follower of Christ. Quite frankly, I don't think anyone should be hitting anyone and yes I am aware of the blatant differences between men and women. Being equal does not mean ignoring these differences but mutually loving and respecting each other because of our differences.

I do not need a man to give up his seat for me on the bus. My legs are just as equipped for standing as his are. However, if I was bogged down with grocery bags or if I was injured, it'd be great to have someone give up their seat- male or female. The call to be loving and selfless isn't gender exclusive. I think that we need to start viewing acts of kindness as a natural form of respect and stop viewing them as an obligation to advance our own agenda to appear a certain way.