A Letter to my Mama

It can only make sense to begin with thanks

Thank you for letting my spirit run loose

For never tying me down to ideals 

For letting my imaginary friends sit in the backseat and at the dinner table 

For letting me sing you songs that I scribbled on notebook paper 

that never really had rhyme or reason or even a logical melody

And still you listened

You have always listened

Thank you for reading me books that stretched my mind

For always giving me the space and time to create, think, and get mad

You have taught me that it's okay to get angry with the things I see

and more importantly the things I don't see

That this world is far from perfection but so am I

That there is always something new that I could be striving towards

even if I have to stand on a step stool to reach it

You taught me that it's okay to rely on someone else

That asking for help is not something to be ashamed of

And I should always be looking for new people that can etch encouragement into my heart

Thank for you for giving me inconceivable grace

For always finding a new way to sneak love into my pockets when I wasn't looking

For letting me fall on concrete but always being there to patch me up 

I think some of my worst injuries came from rejection and heartache and broken trust

but you always have had the right sized band aids to cover them all up

You have taught me that wounds don't heal over night, and sometimes it will feel like they haven't healed at all

Thank you for reminding me to stop picking at my scabs and to just give them time

Thank you for showing me the way toward a Savior who fills in the gaps of your human mistakes

For guiding my little feet down a path that led to a loving Christ

Thank you for refusing to buy me velcro sneakers no matter how much I begged

You always said that I had to learn how to tie my shoes first

Thank you for never giving me an easy way out

For pushing me to sing louder and love bigger

And never letting me settle with the things that came easily

Thank you for standing up for me on your Mama soapbox

Yelling on street corners, always fighting to make sure I was given a fair chance

When I felt like my own voice was silenced by circumstance

There you were with your megaphone and your determination

Always doing your best to make sure that the world never got the best of me

And on the days when I felt like a crumpled piece of paper tossed aside by everyone else

You spread out the wrinkles and taped me to the front of the refrigerator 

Proud of all of me, my mistakes and triumphs and silly tendencies

You have loved me through my darkest days and my most beautiful celebrations

It can only make sense to end with thanks