Praying for Ferguson

At times like this I don't know what to feel
Anger of course, heat rising up
like summer sun on a Missouri sidewalk
I am painfully ashamed at my country's concept of justice
It makes no sense, it makes no sense
repeating to myself as I shake my head
The only words that come to mind are heart-broken and shattered
desperate for change
Losing "progress" that I'm not sure we ever gained

You can't take slavery and rename it racism
and then just call it "the way things are"
You can't have violence just for violence sake
But really this system went up in flames
long before the day that it was decided that a young man's life
wasn't even worth a trial
Living in denial, somehow still thinking that things are just fine

I will never have to justify the fact that my life matters with a hashtag
I sit here so far removed, so confused
Not wanting to even look at the news
because I just want to hear the stories
Knowing that an abuse of power is deeply rooted
in a systematic injustice that is so hard to undo
I will never have to clarify that I do not have a gun on me
But his legacy is not meant to be a burned up and vandalized community
"Channeling your frustration in ways that will make a positive change"

At times like this I don't know what to feel
Not because I am white but because I am human
Because my heart breaks knowing that
a boy's life should never bring about violence
and neither should his death
Justice isn't found in bullet holes and chalk outlines
flaming cars or smoke filled skies
Silence rarely brings about change
But it seems to be what I'm filled with
Deafening silence that aches in my bones
because I don't even know where to begin

This is neither the beginning nor the end
A continuation of disgrace, bringing to light a plague
That we've allowed to sicken us for so long
Song after song crying out
We are hurting, we are broken, we are honestly a mess
It makes no sense, it makes no sense

The Light

The light is fading

catch it quick

Slip it into the drink of a young girl who needs it

Paint it on your finger tips

Smudge it on your cheekbones

Know that you are not in this alone

Let your breath fall like raindrops on a Tuesday afternoon

You are not you

You are the compilation of decades of dreamers

just trying to matter- just trying to take up space

You are your Mama's artwork, Daddy's best catch

You are the exhale of a Monday morning,

a constant "Here we go again"

The light is fading

tame it quick

Whisper it into existence

Name it with your lips

Write it into your daily routine

right after your brush your teeth

The flicker of candlelight on a Friday night

wrapped up in sheets

You are the music moving the story

The dramatic pause and the cascading conclusion

You are the very pulse of movement

The light is fading 

hold it quick

Stitch the warmth into the lines on your palms

You'll need it when the gray clouds come

covering you from horizon to horizon

You are the boldness of sun

daring to rise and

You are salt water stinging eyes

You are a mess and you're still here

The ribcage in your chest more capable than you thought

of holding up your heavy heart

The light is fading

find it quick