A Letter to my Mama

It can only make sense to begin with thanks

Thank you for letting my spirit run loose

For never tying me down to ideals 

For letting my imaginary friends sit in the backseat and at the dinner table 

For letting me sing you songs that I scribbled on notebook paper 

that never really had rhyme or reason or even a logical melody

And still you listened

You have always listened

Thank you for reading me books that stretched my mind

For always giving me the space and time to create, think, and get mad

You have taught me that it's okay to get angry with the things I see

and more importantly the things I don't see

That this world is far from perfection but so am I

That there is always something new that I could be striving towards

even if I have to stand on a step stool to reach it

You taught me that it's okay to rely on someone else

That asking for help is not something to be ashamed of

And I should always be looking for new people that can etch encouragement into my heart

Thank for you for giving me inconceivable grace

For always finding a new way to sneak love into my pockets when I wasn't looking

For letting me fall on concrete but always being there to patch me up 

I think some of my worst injuries came from rejection and heartache and broken trust

but you always have had the right sized band aids to cover them all up

You have taught me that wounds don't heal over night, and sometimes it will feel like they haven't healed at all

Thank you for reminding me to stop picking at my scabs and to just give them time

Thank you for showing me the way toward a Savior who fills in the gaps of your human mistakes

For guiding my little feet down a path that led to a loving Christ

Thank you for refusing to buy me velcro sneakers no matter how much I begged

You always said that I had to learn how to tie my shoes first

Thank you for never giving me an easy way out

For pushing me to sing louder and love bigger

And never letting me settle with the things that came easily

Thank you for standing up for me on your Mama soapbox

Yelling on street corners, always fighting to make sure I was given a fair chance

When I felt like my own voice was silenced by circumstance

There you were with your megaphone and your determination

Always doing your best to make sure that the world never got the best of me

And on the days when I felt like a crumpled piece of paper tossed aside by everyone else

You spread out the wrinkles and taped me to the front of the refrigerator 

Proud of all of me, my mistakes and triumphs and silly tendencies

You have loved me through my darkest days and my most beautiful celebrations

It can only make sense to end with thanks

I don't mind if chivalry is dead...

...as long as common curtesy has replaced it.

Recently I've read several articles online that give men simple ways to bring back chivalry. They include all of the common cliches of holding the door, pulling out a woman's chair, giving up their seat on public transportation, and complimenting women up and down. And my favorite part is always when, in an effort to not appear sexist, the author says "men (and women)." It's new to me that we need parentheses around the female gender, almost as if women are an afterthought.

I don't expect men to hold the door for me or pull out my chair for me at dinner. Would I appreciate it? Of course, who wouldn't? But my appreciation isn't dependent on the gender of the person, it comes from the fact that kind gestures are rapidly fleeing from our fast paced, multi tasking, American society. I do not think that the number of X chromosomes a person has should dictate the level of politeness they need to express. I think our focus needs to shift away from chivalry and knights in shining armor and toward a universal expression of compassion and simple thoughtfulness. The term "chivalry" puts an unnecessary amount of pressure on males to uphold the hierarchy put in place not by Creation but by the Fall.

If I am called to be on equal footing with a male then he should not need to walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street or drop me off first when there isn't any close parking or it's raining. If I decide to wear heels in the rain and snow then it's my own fault. I've also recently read countless anti-feminist rants that say "well if men and women were equal we'd have co-ed bathrooms" or "well if men and women were equal then men should be able to hit women back." I am not a feminist, I am a human and a follower of Christ. Quite frankly, I don't think anyone should be hitting anyone and yes I am aware of the blatant differences between men and women. Being equal does not mean ignoring these differences but mutually loving and respecting each other because of our differences.

I do not need a man to give up his seat for me on the bus. My legs are just as equipped for standing as his are. However, if I was bogged down with grocery bags or if I was injured, it'd be great to have someone give up their seat- male or female. The call to be loving and selfless isn't gender exclusive. I think that we need to start viewing acts of kindness as a natural form of respect and stop viewing them as an obligation to advance our own agenda to appear a certain way.

Beautiful Creation

I do not think that we were ever meant to be chained
Or that the beats of hearts were meant to be suffocated by loud voices, calloused hands
How can anyone look at a child and see anything besides endless dreams?
How can anyone look at a body and see it as a price
a good, merchandise
We live in a marketplace of dehumanization
Immune to the to the plague of self deprecation
that has stemmed from generations hearing the words
"You are not enough"

Windows that do not offer a view into a vast future
but act as a barrier of love
People that do not offer a way out
but have feet that jump to conclusions and eyes that judge
Somehow the glass like a funhouse mirror twisting reality
Evil does not always roll in on clouds of smoke and fire
But rather it seeps in on hands placed on bodies and limits placed on lives
Chains needing to not just be broken, but removed completely
Replaced with the words "You are loved"

I can't help but think that this is so far
from all He intended our Garden to be
How can trust become a tool of manipulation?
A welcoming hug transformed into suffocation
Girls led to believe that all they will ever be is a behind doors strip tease
As their pride and self worth is stripped away with their clothing and heels
Mother and Father holding their daughter's hand and walking her into
a lifetime of selling herself to put food on the table

The only hope that is left is not held in the hands that grab or control
No it is the Hands that were driven into a tree
A Savior who sees past the stains and misuse
An era of hurt and abuse
And paints them the way they were planned out to be
Purely pure, a vision of joy, completely restored
Voices returned to the mouths of the oppressed
Given the chance to tell their story not as a fictional character or a statistic
but as a face, a name, a beautiful creation
Echoing the Creator in ever fiber of their being
So that someday they can truly say "I am loved"