Dear India,

Dear India,
We started missing you before we even left
You are more alive than any place I've ever been
You are not the desert I dreamt you up to be
No, you are sopping wet with spirituality
You're just in need of a Gardener
to wade through the muddy waters
and seek out the truth

You have shattered my alabaster heart
My eyes cannot take in all the pain
My mind does not know where to start
and yet your joy is abundant
Singing when He comes I shall be like Him 
on chaotic streets and in crowded homes
I feel known by people I've never met before

Dear India,
I haven't stopped praying for your children
For all that is and all that has never been
Wishing I could scoop up all the wide eyes,
wild hair, and eager smiles in my arms-
I am far too small
But I know my Father holds them all
My Mother sings them sweet songs of someday

You are spilling over with bright colors, wandering eyes
Trash piled up, magnificent sights
You are coated with more visible contradiction
than I've ever seen
And yet you've led us to search for authenticity
You leap into prayer fearlessly
I've never encountered so much trust-
a faith that heals wounds that run deep

Dear India,
We will be back
Maybe not our feet but in our minds and our hearts
We will revisit you day after day after day
Boldly praying in expectation of change
Your people will be renamed
Instead of carving idols out of the stones of iniquities
we pray that Jesus will flood in to wash your dusty feet
Your women shall be dignified
Love shall rise
We'll toss flower petals in the wind singing,
No more pain, I shall be like Him 

Amen.

Hold On

I am becoming more aware that I am not enough
My hands are not made to hold the world
and all the people in it
I will never be able to sweet talk the waves
into kissing the shoreline
But that does not mean that the tides will stop rolling in

I am a first class example of consistent stumbling
Mumbling hopeful words into darkness
Begging the light to spark
so that I can grasp my surroundings
Gasping for air
There are days I feel like I'm drowning
and I'm merely sitting there

I am growing tired of looking for simple solutions
that I can sip with my morning tea
instead of looking for You
"We need You now more than ever"
I'm sure that will always be the cry of surrender
A constant reminder that You will always be better
than I could ever dream You to be

Thank goodness Your perfection fills in the cracks of my mistakes
I am not a fan of letting my feet leave the ground
or leaving too much room for chance
My hands and my heart are far too greedy
I take on much more than I can handle
But You hold me here
steady and stable
I'll never be an anchor
You bring me to the table
and tell me that I don't have to be

You will always be much more than I can handle
But I'll keep daring to wade into Your presence
Outstretched arms in reckless abandon
I am Yours, I am lost, I am looking for answers
And I am tired of feeling the undeniable weight
of waiting for things to change
I'll keep on following string with my finger tips
Tracing my way back to You and Your holiness
Trusting that You've got a hold on all of this
and I never quite will