A Letter to My Younger Self

You are destined for wonderful adventures
but you are also destined for mistakes
Do not hold your wide eyes and open hands too closely to the idea of being perfect
It will only lead to self loathing at 2 AM
When all you can do is analyze every mistake you made that day
or that week, or that year
Instead, know that your hands may fail you
and your feet may wander down dangerous trails of thought
But you will surprise yourself consistently with how well you bounce back
How quickly your mind adapts to new places and new people and new shoes to fill

Stay away from the ones who do not care for you well
You were not made to conveniently fit into the life of someone who calls you beautiful
Sometimes people will make you feel like you are a wallflower
At least be a daisy, a sunflower
Something that makes others smile
And try not to let them grind your self esteem down to a grain of sand
Sand is too soft, they'll walk all over you
Instead be wood chips, pine needles, even cactus spikes
Do not be afraid to leave a lasting impression

You probably won't grow to be as tall as you hoped for
but do not get too caught up on size
Focus instead on how big your heart is, how big you love
Make sure you go out of your way to help flowers bloom in sidewalk cracks
And every now and then, take a step back
and marvel at how much good there really is in this world
even if you have to squint your eyes and tilt your head to see it sometimes
It's there, I promise
Darkness will always threaten to seep into your pores
but don't let it get too comfortable
You were made by a God who knows darkness like no other
And yet He still calls it light

There will be days when you're running incredibly late
and your clothes don't sit the way you want them too
and you haven't done your math homework yet
(you'll probably never do your math homework)
But trust me, it's not the end of the world
You will have days when you can't lift your head off the pillow
and people you know will leave this world far too young
and teachers will place limits on your future with red pen and raised eyebrows
and all you'll want to do is retreat into your own bones
But it still will not be the end of the world

Because your world is just beginning
You will have first kisses and road trips and nights where you eat way too much ice cream
You will dwell in the pages of far too many good books
and learn to not read people too quickly when you meet them
You will sing on stages and sing in churches and learn to tell the difference between the two
There will be weeks when everything feels so incredibly right
and weeks when you're in over your head
Do not waste too much time trying to do it all on your own
You may be strong, but your arms will never be able to hold
all that you try to put on your plate
And always remember that you will never be too far from others' love and grace